4.11 (April 17)

 I Am Meditative

I find my self in a form of a meditative state that's a fair bit different than the ones we are taught at bootcamp in September. For me, that state comes when I am mowing the lawn, but only the lawn at the Kwoon. The main reason is the size of the lawn. It's a lot bigger and has a lot less interruptions (trees, sidewalks, plants, etc.) than the lawn at home, so I have less to mow around and think about. I've mowed that lawn enough times where I know where to turn, when to disengage the blade, and all the small little inconveniences that happen throughout without thinking about it at all. This gives me time to do something similar to the walking meditation from bootcamp. The vibrations from the lawn mower handle while I'm pushing the mower and the music from my headphones helps with the relaxation part, by giving constant feedback for my senses of touch and hearing. While doing it I do my best to stay in the moment, and to concentrate on what I'm thinking. Afterwards, I feel more centered and ready for the upcoming week. During the week, I find that Tai Chi classes have the same affect sometimes, especially before we learn a new move.

4.10 (April 10)

 Writing is something I struggle with. Doesn't matter if it's a blog, and essay, or even an important text. If it involves my brain telling my hands to write/type something, there is going to be some struggling. Turning my thoughts into proper sentences is difficult, and is usually what takes up most of the writing time. Other times it's not knowing what to write, or how to write about it. Sometimes I know what I want to write, what words I want to use, but I don't know what order would make sense, and I can spent hours writing and deleting the same thing with slight changes every time. It makes writing annoying at times. Thankfully, there are some occasions (although fairly rare) where writing comes super easy and I could write until my hands fall off. 

I want my ability to write easily to improve greatly, and I've been working on that basically since I joined the I Ho Chuan. It'll take time and effort, and I'm doing my best to put as much of both of those in as I can.

4.9 (April 3)

When the May 19th demo was first announced, I was torn on whether I wanted to participate in the demo or if I wanted to teach the kids classes. I was undecided until I got back from quarantining. While I still wanted to go and participate in the demo, I felt it was more important that I get back into the teaching groove with the kids. Observing the classes online doesn't give the same feedback as being in person, since you can only see the front 5 students. In a smaller class like the Lil' Leopards that wouldn't be as big of a deal but in the Level 1 Young Dragons with over 30 students, it doesn't give a good picture. When I got back, I had to stay off to the sidelines a little bit just to see what I missed in the back rows. That's when I made my decision about the demo. 

On Thursday, I decided to theme the classes a little bit after the demo, so we practiced Lion Dancing, with Sifu Rybak and myself on the drum. I feel like it is exactly what I needed to get my connection back with the kids, a nice fun class right before the long weekend.